IC Contact

[tacticalturtleneck]

[Pick your poison.]


1. Hey, this is Archer. How are you doing? [A pause.] Great, glad to hear it! Also glad to hear you're talking to an automated message. HAHA, SUCKER! Leave one!

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2. Holy shit, did you just see that?! [Paaaaaaaause.] That was you falling for the answering machine trick again! God, when you are going to learn?

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3. Welcome to Ask Archer, where you can ask me what you want and I'll answer your question in public and embarrass you in front of everyone. Maybe you'll learn something. Leave it.

Comments

[tacticalturtleneck]

[And sent back as soon as he can.]

Nasrin,

You sound hot. And kind of Tolkien-ish. Which is okay but I'm not really into old, white men. Still, that means you should totally update me in person. It's more convenient like that.

Oh right, the void thingy. Can't we just shoot nukes in it and call it a day? Or if we're talking Cthulu, hire a drunk Viking and ram a ship into it. That works too.

So.......visiting?

Y / N

Circle one.

-Sterling Archer

[arla]

[ Okay, but. What. It takes her...a significant amount of time to write back to him. ]

I don't know what a Tolkien is and I am most certainly not an old, white man. And I'm not certain what a Cthulu is either. I have a very high doubt that we can shoot anything at the Void that it will not swallow.

[ Did she send this to the right place? She looks at his letter a second time. ]

I can visit once the month is out, when I am able to get back to the main shore and find suitable transportation to return to Caer Scima and the spires.

[tacticalturtleneck]

[Welcome to dealing with Archer.]

Very good. Muy bueno. Очень хорошо.

If you have a preferred food or animal you enjoy sitting in your lap, send that in ahead of time. Everyone gets to have a good time at Archer Point.

[If they have the same likes Archer does. And not everyone like his kind of super neat, natural setting with dumb lacrosse stuff.]

[arla]

[ What is she signing herself up for... ]

I wasn't aware having an animal on your lap was a standard at the spire. Thank you, but any accommodations will suffice for me. I have no particular disgust for foods of any kind.

[ ...Well. If he's asking-- ]

If you've any rare or interesting fruits that are native only to the Drabwurld, however, I would be grateful to try them.

[tacticalturtleneck]

Got it. It's totally a date.

[Hey, she said Y.

Regretting this yet?

And why is he sending such tiny messages via long distance birbs.]

[arla]

[ It's a few weeks later when she is finally safely capable of arriving at the spire, information and papers squirreled away in her pack as she makes her way to the front entryway. A woman takes her name and promises to speak to the baron on her behalf, while Lavellan is encouraged to make herself at home. The lacrosse fields are curious but she's drawn more to the animals roaming about in the gardens, where she stands and takes a moment simply to breathe and have some peace before she meets the baron, as...eclectic as he seems from his letters.

She looks more like a vagabond than an official of the court - and in truth, she's nothing special - and she hopes the baron doesn't frown too much on how she's dressed. The past few weeks have been trying in the wake of all of this new development with the Void. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

[No, he really doesn't care, despite his grey suit. No worries there. Besides, he has very specific orders to make sure she's brought over to him directly. Both imps and soldiers don't seem to have an issue doing what he asks. Especially when he tends to be pretty lax in the meantime.

So once she's made it to him...]

Seems like it's been a while. That whole void thing going well for you or did you sink out into space?

[arla]

As well as a hole in the head.

[ Possibly worse, now that she thinks on it. One is the end of all worlds and the other is not. She sighs briefly. ]

I highly doubt that a simple explosion or two will wipe the Void from the map. It's encroaching on Leathann rapidly. I don't know how much time the island has before it's swallowed. Then, the rest of the Drabwurld will be at risk.

[tacticalturtleneck]

You've never seen a nuke before, huh? Can't count the number of people who have on like....any of my fingers, to be honest. So don't feel bad.

[Or just feel bad. Who knows.]

Seems like a good time to relax and have fun either way.

[arla]

Frankly, I'd never heard the word before you said it.

[ Explosives, certainly. She knows a man who can blast anything sky-high in a few minutes, all with his own concoctions. A real nuclear device or a missile? Not at all.

Lavellan frowns. ]

And not do something about this? You would rather sit back and allow this to swallow everything?

[tacticalturtleneck]

Seeing as you don't have a nuke, there's probably no harm in wasting a few days! This isn't like the action movies where it comes down to the wire.

Or maybe it is....life has been a lot like that lately.

[arla]

There's a war on the horizon and you think it would be better to sit idle and...enjoy yourselves?

[ Says No Fun Lavellan. ]

You're a baron, are you not? Do you not have soldiers, something to contribute to the war that the High King and Queen have commanded of you? Are you not a leader?

[tacticalturtleneck]

Yes, let me throw my soldiers in a pit where they can all die.

No thanks. Respectable commanders make sure to commit their soldiers properly. Kind of like...McClellan. But without the whole paranoia aspects.