IC Contact

[tacticalturtleneck]

[Pick your poison.]


1. Hey, this is Archer. How are you doing? [A pause.] Great, glad to hear it! Also glad to hear you're talking to an automated message. HAHA, SUCKER! Leave one!

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2. Holy shit, did you just see that?! [Paaaaaaaause.] That was you falling for the answering machine trick again! God, when you are going to learn?

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3. Welcome to Ask Archer, where you can ask me what you want and I'll answer your question in public and embarrass you in front of everyone. Maybe you'll learn something. Leave it.

Comments

[tacticalturtleneck]

What, no! You asshole! Tell the whole story or don't say it at all! This is how quests for revenge start!

[herotypical]

Like -- listen, okay? [ she thrusts the claymore's hilt back into his hands. ] What if you go through your day thinking someone else is a perfect acceptable engine-revving dreamboat of looker, but it turns out it's all one very clever ruse and she's actually out to make you the sacrificial father of her way-creepy insect demon babies. Huh?

[ true story. granted, miss french hadn't been a succubus. but damn, she'd whipped those boys into a frothy mad mess. demon pheromones. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

That happens all the time. It's called child-support.

[Taking that claymore back. And tossing back into leather sheath on his back.]

[herotypical]

Does child support usually involve decapitation?

[tacticalturtleneck]

You'd be surprised how much the court favors women versus men.

[herotypical]

Oh, boo hoo. [ can you hear the daddy issues just wafting off this one? though the court is hardly to blame; hank summers skipped out on them. she almost would have preferred it if he'd bothered to put up a legal fight. ]

The point remains: succubi suck. And not in the way you want them to.

[tacticalturtleneck]

[It's okay, his mommy issues are probably a gajillion times worse. God forbid anyone app Mallory.]

Then where the hell am I supposed to find real semon demons?

[herotypical]

You don't. Because that's gross.

[tacticalturtleneck]

You're ruining my vibes here! My long, hard, sword vibes!